Gay Marriage is Wrong. Period! End of blog title. Exclamation point.

In November 2008, a majority of “yes” votes on California’s Proposition 8 protected the institution of marriage. Some people think gays should be allowed to marry. Homosexuality in all it’s forms, with the exception of hot, spring break, college lesbian make-out, is wrong. But, just because I enjoy Girls Gone Wild, that doesn’t make gay love moral, and neither should those beautiful, hot, nubile, salacious, supple, young ladies have the same rights as I do.

We need to defend our rights as Americans to sit around a bowl of popcorn, as man-husbands and woman-wives, and enjoy the Oscar winning performances in Brokeback Mountain, in the assurance that neither actor was actually gay and that those cowboys will never marry or be afforded the full rights of a straight citizen.

And if some church full of gay people with so-called “beliefs” (which to them are probably just some things they think are true) and so-called “love” for each other (which to them is probably just a feeling) wants to claim they have the so-called “right” to marry because of so-called “freedom of religion” (which to them is probably just their “literal” interpretation of the constitution) then it’s the State’s job to intervene and restrict that freedom. Some freedoms, rights and civil advantages should be reserved for straight people only. End of story.

But the story doesn’t end there. Just because people who are different think they are right and have some “beliefs”, that doesn’t mean that those beliefs should be respected in the laws of our nation, ESPECIALLY if they are a minority. This goes for the Amish, the Buddhists and the National Wildlife Federation. These are all minority groups, whose radical opinions about simple living, the spiritual connection of all beings and owls don’t represent the whole and therefore they have no right to marriage either.

I hope you will join me in introducing federal legislation to stop Amish marriage. If we give equal rights to gays, then the Amish, where does it stop? Soon everyone will feel entitled to them. What would equality be worth if everyone had it?


” Er…um …Thy knee is touching mine.”

About spence.

i am a comedian. a prodigious, professional provider of comedy ha-ha-hospitality, endorphin dealer and denture wearer. View all posts by spence.

2 responses to “Gay Marriage is Wrong. Period! End of blog title. Exclamation point.

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